Sock Her
I took on a new job.
I know what you’re thinking. But, really–it’s not too time-consuming. This involves little children. And running. And uniforms. And LOTS of high-fives. Yes, that’s right, folks. I’m a pee-wee soccer coach.
Why we lost today isn’t because we have bad offense–it’s because we have bad defense. Ok, ok, they’re not BAD…just a little shakey. And aloof. Good word: aloof. BUT we did have excellent team spirit. They had green jerseys. I asked what would be a good green name. “Crocs!” one sprout shouted. “Great. So here’s our clap,” I said, as I held my arms out in front of me and clapped like a croc’s mouth would move. The kids mimicked me and laughed…so did the parents. And after every good play they followed suit, clapping like crocs for their kids, who were losing somewhat rottenly.
The kids whiff and trip and run in the wrong directions, while some just stand there and look at me, like I’m supposed to tell them what to do. They call me Coach Truckey and listen to me when I tell them to sit in a circle and tell me something fun about them. They perform the drills without getting bored and raise their hands before they speak. One even sits on my lap. “Shades,” I call him.
I haven’t spent a Saturday morning any better since I walked to the market in my white dress eating cherries from a shirt pocket.
