Off the Record

I tend to wake up in a bad mood every morning, especially following awful events of the previous night, but this morning I felt happier than I had in a long time. That’s because Steve Martin called while I was sleeping and asked me if I wanted to go to a movie next week. He was timid and a bit shy, but I could tell he liked me and didn’t care that I was a good 30 years younger than he. Before answering his question about the movie, I stopped to consider his most recent cinemagraphic endeavors. There was Cheaper by the Dozen, Bringin’ Down Da House and the Pink Panther. But there was also Shopgirl, the Mark Twain Comedy Awards and his most recent novel, The Pleasure of My Company. He is intelligent, cultured, savvy, funny, incredibly good looking and versatile. He’s also very rich. But he did date Anne Heche (the lesbian, although a fickle one at that) for nine years and was married to many of his costars. But not to Lily Tomlin–cause she’s a lesbian too. All that aside, I figured he was nice enough to go to a film with, so I accepted his invitation, which my imagination let me believe still stood a good three hours after I awoke.